whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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