3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
