how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
