wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Randomize
