The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Sorry about my life...
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
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