Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
