I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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