yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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