so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
