what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
