how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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