first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize