if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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