Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
