Are we in a gay sports bar?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
You need a sexual gate keeper
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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