As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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