Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
