I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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