I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
