I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Randomize
