Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
