Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
