I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
