OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
