Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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