Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Randomize