Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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