I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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