I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
