WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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