I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize