So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Everclear isn't food dammit
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
