Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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