mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I think my moral compass just broke
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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