how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
