I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
