Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Randomize
