nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
two words...techno handjob
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
