Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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