Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I don't think brook has ever known best
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
