Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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