so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
