the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
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