she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
