Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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