Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
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