C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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