Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
