You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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