singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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