this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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