i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
My vagina just clenched in fear
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
