It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
