you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
