I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
