yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Randomize
