Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
