I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
i out mim tonsoeep
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize