Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
