put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
