i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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