Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
