Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Soap is not a condiment
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
