hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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