i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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