Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
