Can Purell be used as lube?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
