u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Randomize
