Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
