Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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