omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
