call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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