i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
