i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
If its not for food we ain't going out.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
