I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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