my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
