Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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