Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWWâ€
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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