dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
