Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
