that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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