wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
